Goalie gaffe settles Rocks derby

Tunbridge Wells 1 Rusthall 2, Southern Counties East Football League Premier Division, Saturday 23^rd February 2019

Following a rare foray to a match outside of Sussex last weekend, this Saturday brought another trip to a game outside of my home county.

However, as with last weekend’s trip to Lingfield, I didn’t stray too far past the Sussex border.

The truth is that I’ve had my eye on a visit to Tunbridge Wells FC’s Culverden Stadium all season. It’s a club with which I can a claim a very loose connection. Not only is my wife from the town, but my father-in-law was for many years the club’s secretary, among other things. I myself was, for a brief period in the 2007/08 season, the club's temporary program editor – despite never having seen the team play either home or away. Welcome, ladies and gents, to the often weird and wacky world of non-league football!

This was a situation, though, that I’d vowed to put right this season. And what better time to pay my inaugural visit to the Culverden Stadium than for the so-called Rocks derby between Tunbridge Wells and near neighbours Rusthall?

Arriving at the ground just over 20 minutes before kick-off, it was instantly clear to see that the local derby had attracted quite a sizable crowd (over 400, as I later found out). For a moment I was concerned that there would be no space in the car park. Fortunately, a couple of people were leaving just as I arrived, and I was quickly waved into a parking space by the friendly steward. Bizarrely, the space was located directly behind the car of my aforementioned father-in-law.

This was his first visit back to the stadium since he moved to Cheam in South-West London some nine years ago. Not that you would have known it. He could barely walk more than ten steps before bumping into someone he knew and subsequently engaging in some small-talk. It was akin to visiting a game alongside a celebrity! 

I was instantly impressed by Tunbridge Well’s set up. Having paid £7 to get in (or at least having gratefully accepted my father-in-law’s offer to pay – thanks Barry) and then parted with £2 for a well put together program (more professional looking, it has to be said ,than my efforts back in the day) the ground that confronted me reminded more of one of the Bostik Grounds that I’ve visited this season rather than a county league one.

 A sizable covered seated stand runs down one side of the pitch, along with a covered terraced stand and a director’s area. While the clubhouse is a portable building, once you’re inside you wouldn’t know it. It’s surprisingly spacious and well decorated. Along with two television screens showing the rugby, there was also a table-football table that a group of children were enjoying playing on. 

There are also a few mementos of The Wells’ trip to Wembley Stadium six years ago when they reached the final of the FA Vase.

The pitch looked in okay condition, although parts of it, especially in the corners were a little worse for wear. Drainage problems are apparently a long-term issue for parts of the pitch, I was reliably informed.

The Wells and Rusthall are both struggling towards the foot of the SCEFL Premier League table. However, while the hosts are comfortably clear of relegation danger, the same cannot be said for their local rivals. However, having picked up only their second league victory of the season seven days ago, it was arguably not the best time to be playing them.

On a perfect afternoon for football, with the weather conditions more like those commonly experienced towards the end of April rather than the end of February, the match never really caught fire.

The first half was scrappy and littered with mistakes. The best chance of the opening 45 minutes went the way of the hosts and unsurprisingly came courtesy of an error. Rusthall goalkeeper Aaron McGuigan badly misjudged a ball which bounced up and over his head. It appeared The Wells attacker had the simple chance of putting the ball in the back of the unguarded net, only for the impressive Robbie Bissett to scramble the ball off the line and away for a corner.

This chance aside, it was from set-pieces that The Wells looked most likely to take the lead. The visiting goalkeeper was, shall we say, somewhat vertically challenged, and the hosts looked to take advantage of this fact by placing the towering Perry Spackman next to him at every available opportunity and getting the ball into that area. Time and time again, the hosts had chances to score from corners, only to be continually denied by dogged Rusthall defending. The video below shows one such opportunity. There were numerous similar situations throughout the 90 minutes.

At the other end, the visitors were mainly restricted to half-chances, although a rushed clearance from Wells’ custodian Cameron Hall right on half-time, almost led to Rusthall getting a clear sight on goal.

The second-half was a more open affair, although the mistakes continued to flow. Rusthall winger Nodirbek Bobomuradov went close to opening the scoring with a rare moment of quality right at the start of the half when he sent a searing shot inches past the post, before the hosts started to re-exert control of the game.

However, as The Wells began to push on in search of the opening goal, there were signs that the visitors could exploit the extra space being left at the back by the home side.

After 62 minutes this is exactly what happened. In a frankly barmy 30 seconds or so, the persistent Louis Anderson twice sloppily gave away possession, only to win the ball back both times, then go on a charging overlapping run which ultimately led to him being afforded the freedom of Tunbridge Wells down the right. With not much to aim for in the middle, Anderson’s low cross into what coaches and commentators often like to term the ‘corridor of uncertainty’ was perfect, and the luckless Wells’ midfielder Dane Moore could only turn the ball into his own net.

It was the goal the game desperately needed, and made for a fairly exciting last half-hour.

As The Wells poured forward in search of an equaliser, Rusthall began to look increasingly threatening on the counter. I was certain a goal was coming, and while the hosts looked more likely to be the ones who would get it, I wouldn’t have been overly surprised to see the visitors double their lead.

With the game having entered into the last ten minutes, the hosts finally got the equaliser they had been pushing for. A good cross from the right was met brilliantly by the head of Tom Pearson, and the ball lopped over McGuigan and into the net.

From here, there looked to be only one winner. Surely, having defended so stoutly for most of the match, that goal would knock the stuffing out of the plucky visitors, right?

Not for the first time this season (in fact, not for the first time this week) I was wrong.

The visitors were almost re-gifted the lead mere moments after The Wells equaliser, when another panicked clearance from Hall crashed against a pressuring attacker. The ball could have gone anywhere, including into the next, but luckily for the home side bounced harmlessly away from danger.

It was to be only a temporary reprieve, however. Whether the two earlier hashed clearances were still on his mind or not, I couldn’t possibly say. But as a hopeful ball forward rolled seemingly harmlessly towards the Wells’ penalty area, instead of coming out to kick the ball clear, Hall instead decided to let the ball role into his box so he could pick it up. Unfortunately, the goalkeeper had misjudged the speed of the rolling ball and Rusthall substitute Sam Murray reached it a split second before him, nudged it past him, and then finished into the empty net to win the Rocks derby for the visitors.

It’s a result that means that in the past seven days, Rusthall have doubled their points tally for the entire season and given themselves every chance of pulling off what would be a quite miraculous escape from relegation.

I’m pretty sure that another visit to Kent may be in the offing over the next couple of months to see whether they can really pull it off!