Lobsters skewered by sharp Wood

Redhill 1 Colliers Wood United 3, Combined Counties Premier Division, Tuesday 6^th August 2019

And so, here we are again. The start of a brand-new football season. My second as a non-league groundhopper.

Just as the players have spent the past few weeks getting match-fit (or at least something approaching semi-fit) ahead of the coming nine months of gruelling action, I too have been honing my watching skills ready for the admittedly less-arduous months of spectating that lie ahead.

And, after seven pre-season matches (including one at West Ham on Saturday, meaning I was unable to attend a non-league match on the new season curtain raiser – damn that Hammers supporting youngest of mine! – I feel like I’m ready for the real thing to begin.

With my eldest son’s Tuesday night football training not due to start until early September, midweek games are on the agenda for the next month or so. With plenty of matches to choose from on this warm Tuesday evening, I eventually plumped for Redhill vs Colliers Wood United in the Combined Counties Premier Division.

There were a couple of reasons for this choice.

Firstly, I had planned to visit Kiln Brow towards the back end of last season only for the weather to wreak havoc with my plans. Therefore, I felt it was only right to try and make it there for a game sooner rather than later this season.
Secondly, I didn’t attend one match at a Combined Counties League ground last season, despite the fact that some of the grounds aren’t really too far from where I live. This is something I intend to put right this time around.

I’m making it my mission this season to drag more of my friends along to some non-league games, so I was pleased to have company for my inaugural 2019/20 visit. I wasn’t so pleased, however, when upon picking my friend up at just before 18:30, I noticed he was wearing a Brighton and Hove Albion polo shirt. It’s not that I have anything against the Seagulls, you understand, it’s more the fact that we were heading to a game firmly ensconced in Crystal Palace territory that was bothering me. Nice one, bud! (This faux-pas was pointed out to him during the half-time break by another spectator, albeit in a friendly, jocular manner… thankfully).

During the hour-long drive to the game, one of the many topics of conversation we covered (and one of the few that I can actually talk about on this blog) was the introductions of sin-bins at step five. We both agreed that it is potentially a good idea as it could (and should) stop dissent. That said, it will only work if referees are consistent with their use of the system. If a player says something to a ref one week and doesn’t get punished, then says the exact same thing to a different ref a week later and ends up getting sin-binned, then it’s just going to cause more resentment towards the officials!

After finally finding the ground, having somehow managed to drive straight past the turning for Kiln Brow and ended up in the car park for the East Surrey Hospital, we parked and made our way to the stadium.

The entrance fee of £8 was higher than anything I paid for a game at step five last season (I suppose this is Surrey, so I might have get used to slightly higher prices – hope wifey isn’t reading this), although at £1, the informative and well-produced programme was money well spent.

Kiln Brow is a pleasant, typical County standard ground. On the near side to the entrance there’s a main covered seated stand, while behind one of the goals there is a smaller covered terraced area. Surrounded by trees, it’s easy to think that you could be located deep in the Surrey countryside, although the constant sound of traffic whizzing by quickly reminds you that you’re not. The clubhouse is sizable, and there was a good selection of food and drink available.

One question that my friend asked me prior to kick-off, and one that I was unable to answer (and still am – regular readers of this blog will be only too aware that I’m somewhat allergic to research) is why Redhill are nicknamed The Lobsters when the town is nowhere near the sea? It’s a fair question, and one I’d be happy to hear an answer for if anyone reading this happens to have one.

It was disappointing, although not at all surprising, to discover that the sin-bin initiative doesn’t actually constitute of a real bin. I’d jokingly remarked to my friend during our aforementioned conversation that I’d like to see an actual wheelie-bin placed by the side of the pitch that disciplined players would have to stand in should they fall foul of the officials.

Hey, don’t mock it. It could work. After all, would you fancy standing in a bin for 10-minutes? Thought not. The ‘wheelie bin of sin’ (I can see the flashy neon sign now - or, as this is non-league, more likely a brightly coloured in piece of card) could become the ultimate deterrent to dissent. Or maybe not.

The first 15 minutes or so of the match were fairly even, with no real chances falling to either side. However, Collier Wood’s intentions to get the ball up top for their pacey front three of Felix Ahorlu, Ali Fofanah and Ayden Richards were clear from the off. The trio caused problems for the home defence all evening, although it has to be said that the Redhill midfield were often found wanting when it came to cutting off the supply to them. There was so much space for the United midfield at times.

The opening goal came after 17 minutes, when former Lobster Ahorlu was sent through on goal following a good use of the advantage rule by the ref. Although Redhill goalkeeper (and the home side’s man of the match), Jack Minchin saved well to prevent the first effort, he could do little about the rebound which fell invitingly to Ahorlu, who made no mistake at the second attempt.

While United continued to pose a threat on the break, the Lobsters forced a succession of corners during the first-half, and were awarded a number of free-kicks in dangerous positions. With Wood goalkeeper Andrew Osei looking a little suspect at times when dealing with crosses, a set-piece seemed to be the home side’s best hope of getting back into the match.

Indeed, from a free-kick after 35 minutes, Sam King did find space in the area for his side’s first clear attempt of the evening, only to be denied by Osei.

For the first ten minutes or so of the second-half, Redhill came out with a bit more purpose and had United pegged back at times. However, despite a clear territorial advantage, and yet more corners, they were unable to create any meaningful attempts on goal.

After this brief flurry, United resumed control of the game, with the previously mentioned front three causing all sorts of problems. It was only thanks to a couple of decent save from Minchin that the hosts remained in the game for as long as they did.

The goalkeeper couldn’t keep the visitors out for ever though, and with 15 minutes remaining, Wood all too easily cut Redhill open down the right flank, before a cross to the back post found Ahorlu unmarked, and he had a simple finish for his second of the evening.

Little more than two minutes later, it was 3-0. An awful pass-back presented Richards with an absolute gift in the area, and the talented attacker was never going to miss.

Bizarrely, just as it appeared the hosts would crumble, going 3-0 behind instead seemed to spur them on. They played the last ten minutes with far more urgency and determination than they had the previous 80, and actually started causing the Wood defence a few problems.

This late pressure would lead to a last minute consolation goal, when substitute Sean Bradley pulled one back with a tidy strike from the edge of the area.

The final score of 3-1 certainly provided an accurate reflection of the match.

So, for me, game number one of the new campaign is done and dusted.

I’ll be in Surrey again on Saturday for some early-season FA Cup action. There’s currently a Twitter poll running on my feed to determine exactly where I’ll be, but at the time of writing it’s looking like Guildford City vs Tooting Bec.

Can’t wait. It’s good to be back!

Enjoyed this blog post? Then you may be interested in reading my kindle book which recounts my 2018/19 groundhopping journey (take a look, it’s only 99p).